Firestar's Quest 2: Ride Warrior Cats
by StupidSequel
Summary: The Clans all go to Kings Island amusement park and leave their warrior life behind. Things go haywire after a never before seen cat breaks down Diamondback. Firestar goes on yet another big quest. Also included are unlikely romances and game losing.


**Warriors- Firestar's Quest 2: Ride Warrior Cats**

**(AN: If this is canon discontinuity for you, just call SkyClan's Destiny the real sequel to Firestar's Quest.**)

Firestar had a most unusual dream from StarClan. He was in a place he didn't recognize filled with unusual monsters and lots of Twolegs and Twoleg kits. He spotted Spottedleaf flanking him. "You must abandon the lake and form a bond with monsters," she whispered to him. She then faded and Firestar entered the waking world. He went to go make dirt, but the dirt place was pretty much overflowing.

"Why is the dirt place like this?" Firestar demanded.

"We live by a lake, dude!" Brambleclaw retorted.

"Transporting moss is too tedious, and we wanna cool down more," Firehawk added. Firehawk is Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight's never-before-heard-of son. Firehawk had an auburn tabby pelt and amber eyes. He was very, very smart for a cat. He might as well have been a Twoleg. He was a fairly fast learner. He knew Twoleg words.

"We can't stay here because carrying moss is too exhausting and tedious and the lake makes us use the dirtplace about every ten minutes." Firehawk explained. Firestar made his call from the high-ledge.

"We need to move yet again. This lake just goes right through our bodies." Firestar called. "In a few days it'll be time for the Gathering. We need to inform the others, then decide." After the meeting was over he spotted an apprentice with greencough. Firestar wanted to speak to StarClan, but he was too lazy to make the trek to the Moonpool, so he got near the sick apprentice and licked its nose. Firestar started coughing too. He was growing weaker and weaker until he finally lost a life. He found himself floating toward StarClan. He walked around the skies for a bit until he spotted something that looked like the image from his dream down on Earth somewhere in Ohio.

"That will be our new location I bet." Firestar whispered excitedly. He came back to life in time for the Gathering. _How long was I dead? _he thought. The cats from all four clans lined up across the tree bridge to the island. When cats from all clans gathered, the Gathering commenced.

"We need to move somewhere where we won't need to go pee-pee every ten minutes," Blackstar agreed. So the other clans do have problems with drinking too much lake water and going pee-pee every ten minutes. Firestar spoke at last.

"I killed myself and while walking StarClan, I saw a wonderful place where we may never again have to worry about borders or prey or some shit like that. I think the Twolegs call it an imisment par. I don't know exactly, but it was filled with huge monsters that carry Twolegs and in the forest what looked like a wooden thunderpath with a long, red snake-like monster on it."

"We should go on another Great Journey and go there, the place Firestar described," those words pelted out of Cloudtail's mouth. Firestar did a summoning whistle, like humans would do when calling a dog. Spottedleaf's soul came down, went to a Twolegplace, grabbed a net, and scooped up all the cats in it. It almost looked like a laundry bag with sardine-packed pelts.

Unbeknownst to everyone, and this isn't important to the plot, but Heavystep was arm wrestling with Sol and Heavystep won.

"You've beaten me for the 86th time, Heavystar. Just what I'd expect from the leader of MoleClan." Heavystep and Sol went down in the tunnels to greet the cats of MoleClan.

"Me dying twice wasn't a mistake, people," Heavystep/star spoke. "RiverClan doesn't know that I am a Clan leader. I should probably stop breaking the fourth wall now and let this fanfic get back to the main plot."

"I was once part of BloodClan," Sol blurted.

Meanwhile...

"Take us to Kings Island amusement park in Ohio, Spottedleaf," Firehawk requested. Spottedleaf grabbed the net and flew with it hanging from her mouth. She flew them across an ocean and over endless expanses of woods until they came to a huge parking lot and saw the Kings Island skyline before them.

"YAY KINGS ISLAND!" Hollyleaf yelled. "AND YAY MY ONLY LINE IN THIS FANFIC EVER!" The four clans pelted across the lot, through the front entrance gate, and a little past the Eiffel Tower. Firestar recognized SkyClan getting off of Diamondback. He gasped when he saw Tigerstar with them.

"What are you doing in SkyClan, Tigerstar?" Firestar demanded. "I thought Scourge killed you!"

"I was getting tired of the Dark Forest, so I told StarClan I was sorry, and they brought me back to life, and FYI, it's Tiger_claw _now. I have repented. I am in SkyClan because that's the only one they had room for."

"I'm thinkin' we may not ever have to worry about battles, patrols, or hunting ever again! This place has rides and you can buy food, courtesy of Spottedleaf, the cat version of an ATM machine!" Firestar spoke with enthusiasm. Heavystep was enjoying a bacon and mushroom pizza and Lionblaze was munching on a cheeseburger. "But we need to find a medicine cat den, a place to share tongues with StarClan, a Gathering place, and a Clan meeting place. I'm also thinkin' that if SkyClan rode one of this park's roller coasters, then I'm inclined to think Twolegs, er, humans, aren't so bad."

"Hey, humans. How come you think nothing of us cats speaking your language now?" Lionblaze asked someone in between bites of his cheeseburger.

"Because of all the Disney movies my family watches," replied a short, athletic looking kid in line for Snoopy's Surf Dog. After much debating, exploring, and searching, this is what they came up with: Gathering place is under Diamondback's lift hill, Moonstone/pool equivalent is inside Flight of Fear, Clan meeting (for all five clans) is on Son of Beast. The medicine den (for all five clans) is somewhere next to Drop Zone (that was Jayfeather's decision. Why? Because Drop Zone equals really big 315 foot stick, and Jayfeather was cheating on his driftwood stick).

Some time later, after cats from all the clans rode Diamondback, Firehawk got in line for Firehawk, but the ride was closed.

"StarClan dammit! I'm gonna have to break in," he mumbled. He went into Diamondback's station and dismantled the control panel for the ride (the ride op didn't seem to notice or care that a cat was carefully dismantling and reconfiguring a roller coaster's control panel.) He did some tinkering and wire cutting. Eventually the control panel seemed to come to life. Firehawk walked it back to the flying coaster sharing his name and restored the power to the ride with his advanced knowledge of electronics, and with his knowledge of robotics, he programmed Diamondback's control panel to operate the ride. When he rode it, the train sailed past the station and started another trip around the track. It kept doing that because the robot wasn't programmed to operate the brakes to the ride. Bummer!

Meanwhile, over at Diamondback, the forest cats noticed the line getting overly long, probably way past the parking lot. The ride was broken down because of Firehawk's latest escapade. _Good thing we already have the Diamondback credit, _all the cats thought in unison. Brightheart saw Tigerclaw looking at her intently. Before she knew it, she began to touch her nose to his and share tongues with him. She was cheating on Cloudtail.

"Wanna ride Invertigo with me?" she asked Tigerclaw.

"Sure," he answered.

After they got off Invertigo, Brightheart complained about how boring it was. She decided to go see Firestar, who had just gotten off the Beast.

"I wanna change my name back to Lostface so that I feel more of an adrenaline rush when I ride rides." she told him. He had approved.

"Let all cats who are old enough to catch their own prey join us here on the Son of Beast roller coaster," Firestar's yowl rang through the whole park. All the cats piled into the 36-seat coaster train. As soon as the train started up the insanely loud chain lift, Firestar yelled above it.

"Brightheart, you will now be known as Lostface."

"Yippee!" said Lostface. Lostface was feeling her predicted adrenaline rush when the train went down the drop, which lifted her out of her seat a little bit. Some of the cats were feeling pain due to the jack hammer nature of this ride. At least the loop provided a moment of relief from the roughness. After the helix and series of hills that followed, the ride was over. After that, Lostface and Tigerclaw rode Delirium and Congo Falls. When they got on Drop Zone, Jayfeather went berserk and clawed the heck out of them.

"STARCLAN DAMMIT! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" Lostface shouted.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY LOVE," Jayfeather snapped. "I LOVE DROP ZONE!"

After they got off the ride, they were still clearly scratched.

"We need to go see Jayfeather for our wounds," Tigerclaw commented. They went to the medicine den and Jayfeather pressed herb poultices to their pelts.

"What happened?" Jayfeather demanded. "How did you guys get all scratched-icle?"

"Jayfeather was in love with Drop Zone and he scratched us," Lostface told Jayfeather.

"That sucks. Cats shouldn't scratch each other unless they're fighting, and we've left that behind," Jayfeather mused. (AN: there is ONE Jayfeather) He looked at her between her legs using his seeing eye glasses he bought at the gift shop. "Hmmm. You seem to be a hermaphrodite." _So is Rowanclaw, but unlike me, she's okay with it, _thought Lostface_._

Lostface and Tigerclaw went up in the Eiffel Tower and looked at Diamondback's line. It stretched past the horizon, probably past the state line.

"Wow, the ride op and maintenance sure are lazy," Lostface commented.

After riding a bunch more rides, Lostface decided to try her paw at a highstriker game, where you hit a target with a hammer as hard as you can, and the tower of lights light up to indicate your progress. She gripped the hammer in her paws. It felt like trying to drag a badger. She hit the target with all her might. The first light didn't even light.

"Sorry, kid. 1/10,000 of the way up won't cut it," the dude who worked the game teased. "You just lost the game!" Unbeknownst to them, Cloudtail was watching them with narrowed eyes.

"Tigerclaw, you stole my mate! And Lostface, I know you're a hermaphrodite, and if you don't change your name to Lostgame, I will tell everyone that little revelation!" Cloudtail yelled angrily.

All of ThunderClan was riding Son of Beast once again for a clan meeting. "Lostface will be known as Lostgame from now on!" Firestar recited.

"Aw man, now I lost the game!" Graystripe complained.

"So did I!" Lionblaze moaned. The entire clan was complaining that they lost the game.

"All right. Everyone's name is now Lostgame, cause you all lost the game, and my name stays because I am clan leader." Firestar decided. "And we need to do something about Diamondback's line. I'm tired of looking at it." The Lostgame who used to be Brambleclaw knew that the line was severely backed up because Diamondback wasn't working at all, so the cats somehow had to make it work. He and Firestar had worked up a plan. ThunderClan rode Son of Beast five more times to explain to the clan about their plan. All the other clans also had cats named Lostgame and went along with the plan. Basically the cats named Lostgame (except medicine cats and deputies) would climb up on the track at the end of the ride and stay there while the deputies, leaders, and medicine cats push the train up the 230 foot lift hill and let gravity take over until the end, when the train would be slowed down by the cats laying on the tracks who would get run over by it, acting as speed bumps. Why the Lostgames specifically? Because it would create less confusion.

At last they got off Son of Beast and headed toward Diamondback. All the leaders, deputies, and medicine cats pushed one of the snake-themed trains up the lift hill and watched it go through the course. A few of the Lostgame cats went up on the home stretch and laid there. At last the train went through the splash segment and up to the homestretch where the cats lay and ran over all the Lostgame cats, and the train slowed enough to stop in the station, ready for the next train load to get on. A good number the ride cycles after this went like that. Eventually the clans had run out of Lostgames.

"What do we do now? Those people left in line will miss out on what may be the greatest steel coaster on earth," Brambleclaw was worried. Firestar had just gotten back from Flight of Fear and told him that StarClan would send a sign. Just then a meteor was heading in the direction of Drop Zone. Drop Zone was swelling pretty big and then a huge buttload of kittens fell out of its side. Yes, a ride got pregnant. Spottedleaf came down and told everyone that those kittens are not to be taken into the clan, that their only purpose is to serve the same function as a "Lostgame."

It was near closing time. Up in StarClan, Bluestar felt the ground beneath her cave in.

"Yo dawg! There are too many cats here! It's making the ground crumble! We're gonna fall!" Yellowfang rapped. The ground collapsed under all the cat souls' weight and they tumbled into the Dark Forest. "Oh my Us!" all the StarClan cats yelled in unison.

In the living world, the clan cats saw a bunch of cat ghosts fall from the sky. Firestar went over to Flight of Fear to speak to StarClan. He went over into the center of the spaghetti-bowl of track and licked a support beam. He saw that StarClan was just a huge void with no cats and earthly ground below it. "I have to rebuild StarClan," Firestar decided.

The next day Firehawk was still riding Firehawk (the flying coaster was still going round and round the circuit indefinitely) and ThunderClan was on Son of Beast for a clan meeting.

"I'm leaving on yet another long journey, this time to rebuild StarClan," he said sadly. "I'll be back in a few moons."

He had left the park property and pelted into a neighborhood. He saw a pet cat who looked like Bluestar. He yelled to her, "YOUR NAME IS NOW BLUESTAR. YA HEAR ME?" The cat nodded. He killed the cat with a swift bite to the neck. "One down. Many more to go." He killed several more cats who looked like clan cats who had died before and they accepted their new names without question. In the case of Heavystep, it's just like the Schrodinger's cat paradox. He also stole a bunch more kittypets and told them the names, life story, and personality of the clan cat who looked most like them and they agreed without question. Those would be the replacements of the dead Lostgames. I will spare you all the boring details of this deus ex machina ending since it would be fairly long and repetitive.

After Firestar's little mission, he held another naming ceremony on Son of Beast to change the original surviving Lostgames' names back to their original names. (Brightheart was still known as Lostface.) Also, Diamondback was closed because it still needed a new control panel and the roadkill needed to be cleaned off its thick blood red track. He decided to take speaking to StarClan for a test drive. He went into the Flight of Fear building and licked a support.

"Thank you for rebuilding us. As a gift, we will restore you to your original nine lives," Spottedleaf said in her soothing voice.

After leaving Flight of Fear with his nine lives intact, he decided to ride it. It was exhilarating. The clan cats just rode stuff and ate fast food all day, with the occasional voyage to the water park.

4 years later Firehawk was still endlessly riding Firehawk over and over again, and he was enjoying it. He eventually died on it, having never gotten off since getting on it.

**AN: I am not trying to insult the park service. I just wanted to advance the plot.**


End file.
